Clean Your Own Glass House, Dammit!!

So now Anthony Weiner has resigned.

This is a man who engaged in lewd online behavior with women who were not his wife.This behavior was shocking for a couple of reasons. We learned that a very media savvy man, one who had intensely and passionately championed the health care bill and was on the fast track to becoming the mayor of New York, had significant adolescently pursued insecurities, had made overtures through multiple embarrassing tweets to women who – with the exception of the banalities strewn through these silly messages – initially been enthralled with his wit, charm and good looks. And then, the American public saw the member of a member of Congress.This, certainly, was unprecedented.

And is where the outrage began.

Given the political pressure urging him to step down, Weiner ultimately had no choice but to give up his seat. He had the worst possible name for a sex scandal. But after the initial shock was over, I found most of the outrage about his behavior terribly disingenuous.There have been far worse sex scandals – the challenge of Weinergate was that this was the first big sex(ting) scandal of the social media age. The truth is that if the Capitol Police were to tell all members of Congress that their computers were to be immediately confiscated for an investigation of inappropriate emails, tweets, Facebook postings and images, many more Congressional resignations would be in the offing. Senator Steve Vitter who paid for hookers, a crime; he is still serving in the Senate. Certainly there have been other Congresspersons who resigned once their sexual behavior came to light. John Ensign had an affair with a staffer and had his parents pay off her husband, also a staff member; Ensign faces criminal charges. Mark Foley was forced to resign after it was learned that he sent emails and solicited emails from under-aged boys who served as Congressional pages. Larry Craig, resigned after he was caught in a public men’s restroom soliciting sex. Anthony Weiner’s resignation is, at this point, necessary. But there must be some consistency in how sex scandals are addressed. The off with his head atmosphere that has surrounded the Weiner tweets has been ludicrous.

The media, the public and Weiner’s political colleagues and President Obama were furious that Weiner lied about his online behavior. The assumption was that if he lied about sex he would lie about anything and could not be trusted with political power and authority. That, frankly, is ridiculous. People lie about sex. It’s private. It can be embarrassing. No one wants anyone in their bedrooms or nightstand drawers.It would be too difficult to explain their fur handcuffs, scented potions, or pornographic movies to other people. And everyone wakes up happier after nights of carnal fun and does a great job at work.

Pundits opined about why Weiner did what he did. Who knows? It's for him to work out with a professional. Weiner did, however, give one of the most honest press conferences about sexual misbehavior that we have seen. He took rude and lascivious questions for 45 minutes.He laid himself bloody bare. And since that time, through weight loss and clear emotional pain, he has been a wounded lamb that the media have flogged. This is flogging for behaviors that represent poor judgement only; he did nothing remotely illegal. If we assume that his dangerous online behavior represents a sexual addiction, then his request to Congress for time to become a healthier person and better husband, granted by them, was legitimate and warranted. Such requests have often been granted to members of Congress so that they have space to battle their alcohol or drug addictions or to address family issues.Weiner needed this time; he has started treatment with a therapist.It has not been respected. The national view of his erect penis, unpopularity among his colleagues (in spite of his popularity with his blue collar constituents), and the 24-hour news cycle, made it necessary for him to leave his post. Americans, always uncomfortable with sex, found this scandal simultaneously fascinating, icky, sad and familiar.It was the familiarity that we really couldn’t stand.

An ugly truth is that everyone needs at least one bad guy to get work done in Congress. Weiner’s very abrasiveness and grandstanding on the far left was appreciated as long as it moved policy conversations toward to middle. It is a necessary position in politics. It is also one that, in times of trouble, one’s colleagues can easily flee from.

Let’s think for a moment about how much poorer our political landscape might have been had we thrown out some of the politicians involved in modern sex scandals. President Bill Clinton was impeached for sexual behavior with Monica Lewinsky. He continued his presidency and has gone on to become an extraordinary senior statesman.For years, the Lion of the Senate, Ted Kennedy, had a serious problem with alcohol and serially cheated on his wife.He killed a woman.And we, rightly, as a result of the extraordinary work for the poor of this country, had a national coronation at his death. But Anthony Weiner was scrappy, ambitious, combative and abrasive.He did not have many close friends in Congress. Once his new age problems were laid bare, no one wanted to help him.

Post-Congressional life may prove challenging for Weiner. He will lose his $174,000 salary, though he will receive retirement payments.Because politics has been his life’s work, he may have a hard time finding work. He is not an attorney. He does not have an MBA. Colleges and lobbying firms may find it difficult to offer him employment. Who's going to hire him - Ball Park Franks? As he made his retirement statement in the Queens community center where, 20 years ago he first announced his run for City Council, Weiner said that he wanted to find ways to continue to meaningfully contribute to the civic discourse. What has been a wonderful salve for him has been the constant support of his wife, Huma Abedin, aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Caught off-guard by her husband's post-marital sexting behavior, Abedin has reportedly helped Weiner plot his course through treatment and resignation. In spite of all calls for his resignation over the past three weeks, Weiner was not willing to act until he could have a face to face conversation with his wife, who was out of town with her boss.

So, in the future, how do we choose our Congressional representatives? While Weinergate has been considered a huge distraction from the country’s very serious problems, we do have the right to learn about the integrity of our Congresspersons and Senators. We may not need to have extremely personal details about their private lives, but it is essential that we have enough information to judge them fairly in election years. How else do we judge their judgments?

But here is another truth: Americans love a comeback story. We’ll see more of Anthony Weiner. And as we all know now, less is more.